Chapter 9 “Core Problem Exposed”
“I dunno,” replied John. “I think there are even more reasons. Maybe the core problem is, ‘Lack of discipline and planning.’”
“That sounds good,” Lisa replied, “but I think that the too much too soon needs to be included, too.”
“I think it’s covered in lack of discipline.”
“Maybe,” said Lisa, “but ‘Too much too soon’ sends me a clear message. What if we say lack of specific goals, discipline and planning?”
John nodded, wrote it down and placed it as a core complaint under the cash ratio note.
Here is what the new arrangement looked like:
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ZONING PROBLEM |
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CAR NEEDS REPAIRS |
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BLACK MARK ON CREDIT |
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LISA SPENDING TOO MUCH |
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STRAINED MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP |
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FAILURE TO QUALIFY FOR BANK LOAN |
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JOHN BECOMING EASILY DEJECTED |
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LISA NOT HAPPY WITH JOHN OR HERSELF |
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LISA PERCEIVES THAT JOHN’S POOR ORGANIZATION IS A HUGE PROBLEM |
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LACK OF SPECIFIC GOALS, DISCIPLINE AND PLANNING |
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LISA’S MOTHER’S NEGATIVE OPINION |
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CASH TIED UP IN PROPERTY |
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INCOME STINKS NEGATIVE INCOME TO EXPENSE RATIO |
“It’s making more sense,” he said “The lack of mutual articulated goals, discipline and planning throws our cash ratio out of kilter. That, in turn, reinforces Lisa’s view and her mother’s that I’m a loser, and that makes Lisa unhappy and makes me feel dejected. The core complaint directly relates to cash tied up in property, car repairs and zoning problems and all of that adds to more strain on our relationship.
“Both of us being unhappy adds to the core problem of articulate goals, discipline and planning, which creates a vicious cycle. Above that cycle, Lisa spends more as a result which gives us a bad credit score. Not to mention all the stuff we purchase on a buy now, pay later plan.”
“That’s probably why the bank turned us down,” Lisa admitted. “And everything leads to a deteriorating relationship, which makes me even more unhappy!”
“Well Rob,” John inquired, “How do we fix the core problem?”
“I have to say that you guys did a fabulous job!” Rob answered. “Now you have identified the weak link and you know where to focus your energies. You also know what you don’t want. This should assist you with step 3 when you set your goals.”
“I really have to get going, but use the guide I’ve given you to finish the formula. Call me when you need to and if I don’t hear from you in a few days, I’ll call to see how it’s going.”
“But wait! Can’t we just schedule another meeting like this one?” John stammered.
“We could, but it’s better for you both if you work through it yourselves. If you really get stumped, feel free to call me, but part of the benefit comes from you two working together. The other advantage is that you can start with 3, 4, and 5 immediately instead of waiting until next week to meet with me.”
“Well, you saying that gives me confidence to try,” said John.
“I’m sure we can do it!” exclaimed Lisa. “Thanks a million Rob.”
“Don’t mention it. Just keep me informed of your progress.”
John stood up. “Alright, we’ll be going. Thanks so much for your time.”
“You’re welcome and thanks for stopping by.”
Everyone exchanged smiles and handshakes and John and Lisa left feeling like a 20-ton boulder had just been lifted off their shoulders. They hadn’t really solved anything yet, but they both believed they just might have the tools now to do so.
Yes… how will they fix the core problem? Post your prediction!
Mister P
October 4, 2009 | Posted by Mister P
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I’m guessing a family budget along with a part-time job for Lisa running an Internet Coaching business. And maybe a decision they can’t afford the new house.
Seize the Day,
Rob
Emergency Preparedness For the 21st Century Family
I predict they’ll set some mutual goals – though this won’t be easy as mutual goals can get a bit woolly. Then a plan would be helpful. Then ACTION!
They could just watch The Secret and hope!
http://www.martin-wright.com
That was a good reframe of the problem to more of the core issue versus a statement of judgement.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Single Baby Boomer Dating Success Expert
I don’t make very good predictions. I’m glad this one ended with all smiling.
Lisa McLellan
Child Care Expert,
Babysitting Services, Babysitting Tips, Babysitters, Nannies
Goals, planning, and action. Teamwork, knowing they both make it work or not work.
Robert Martin
http://www.carbuyinghq.com
The core of their problems seem to be their unhappiness. They need to decide what their mutual goals are that will make each of them happy and work from there.
Steve Chambers
Sales Training Speaker
If we can define our problems well, they are already half solved due to our mental clarity to see where the issues are.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope
Goals… Mutual Goals
Scott
http://www.salesjunkie.net
http://www.scottpayne.me
Mutual Goals
Jose Escalante
http://www.joseescalante.com