Chapter 9 “Core Problem Exposed”

October 4, 2009 | Posted by Mister P

“I dunno,” replied John. “I think there are even more reasons.  Maybe the core problem is, ‘Lack of discipline and planning.’”

“That sounds good,” Lisa replied, “but I think that the too much too soon needs to be included, too.”

“I think it’s covered in lack of discipline.”

“Maybe,” said Lisa, “but ‘Too much too soon’ sends me a clear message. What if we say lack of specific goals, discipline and planning?”

John nodded, wrote it down and placed it as a core complaint under the cash ratio note.

Here is what the new arrangement looked like:

“It’s making more sense,” he said “The lack of mutual articulated goals, discipline and planning throws our cash ratio out of kilter.  That, in turn, reinforces Lisa’s view and her mother’s that I’m a loser, and that makes Lisa unhappy and makes me feel dejected.  The core complaint directly relates to cash tied up in property, car repairs and zoning problems and all of that adds to more strain on our relationship.

“Both of us being unhappy adds to the core problem of articulate goals, discipline and planning, which creates a vicious cycle.  Above that cycle, Lisa spends more as a result which gives us a bad credit score.  Not to mention all the stuff we purchase on a buy now, pay later plan.”

“That’s probably why the bank turned us down,” Lisa admitted. “And everything leads to a deteriorating relationship, which makes me even more unhappy!”

“Well Rob,” John inquired, “How do we fix the core problem?”

“I have to say that you guys did a fabulous job!” Rob answered. “Now you have identified the weak link and you know where to focus your energies.  You also know what you don’t want.  This should assist you with step 3 when you set your goals.”

“I really have to get going, but use the guide I’ve given you to finish the formula.  Call me when you need to and if I don’t hear from you in a few days, I’ll call to see how it’s going.”

“But wait! Can’t we just schedule another meeting like this one?” John stammered.

“We could, but it’s better for you both if you work through it yourselves. If you really get stumped, feel free to call me, but part of the benefit comes from you two working together.  The other advantage is that you can start with 3, 4, and 5 immediately instead of waiting until next week to meet with me.”

“Well, you saying that gives me confidence to try,” said John.

“I’m sure we can do it!” exclaimed Lisa. “Thanks a million Rob.”

“Don’t mention it. Just keep me informed of your progress.”

                John stood up. “Alright, we’ll be going. Thanks so much for your time.”

                “You’re welcome and thanks for stopping by.”

                Everyone exchanged smiles and handshakes and John and Lisa left feeling like a 20-ton boulder had just been lifted off their shoulders. They hadn’t really solved anything yet, but they both believed they just might have the tools now to do so.

Yes… how will they fix the core problem? Post your prediction!

Mister P

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