Chapter 13 “Effective Complaining?!!”
October 8, 2009 | Posted by Mister P
“Alright, list all the reasons why our goal is unrealistic. Hmmm. We always fight about money,” John said. “We don’t seem to share the same values, either. And frankly,” he looked directly at Lisa, “your mother is definitely a bad influence.”
“How should I write that down?” asked Lisa.
John shrugged. “Something like, we can’t control your mom’s negative opinion about me.”
Lisa spoke as she wrote, “‘Lisa’s mother will continue to have a polarizing affect.’ What’s another objection?”
They continued in this manner until all 7 goal sheets were complete through step 4. Here’s what they wrote down:
John and Lisa’s Goal Sheet
1) Continually improve our marriage
We always fight about money
We don’t share the same values
Lisa’s mother will continue to have a polarizing effect
John’s disorganization will always aggravate Lisa
Lisa’s spending will bankrupt the family
2) Always have clear planning, discipline and goals
John’s disorganization will derail efforts
Lisa’s scorn will further derail efforts
It’s impossible to see the future – we will make mistakes
Getting both parties onboard with unified discipline and plan to move forward will be impossible
3) Systematically acquire a timber framed home
Too big of a task if everything is in shambles
Timbers are for wealthy people – we don’t have 2 nickels to rub together
John’s disorganization will hinder anything systematic
John is unable to move up in pay fast enough
Lisa’s spending will eat up any gains
4) Free up the cash from the property
The developer won’t give us money back
We can’t afford a lawyer
With the wetlands issue we can’t sell without a loss
If we lump the property with the house loan – that means the bank turns us down faster
5) Get approved for the house loan
Credit has black mark
No money for down payment
Can’t control the banker
Hard to get fair appraisal for timber home
We’re too young to afford big loan
6) MAINTAIN A POSITIVE INCOME TO EXPENSE RATIO INCLUDING A STRUCTURED SAVINGS PLAN
We don’t have unified determination to save
John doesn’t make enough to save
Lisa spends too much
7) Solve the Wetlands Glitch
Can’t change the regulations
Lawsuit could be very long and expensive
Don’t have time, money or expertise to fight county
“Wow, I feel like we are getting somewhere!” exclaimed Lisa, looking over the goal sheets. “Too bad it’s so late, I’d like to finish.”
“We’ll have to do it later. We’ve been at this for hours and I’m bushed,” agreed John, “but I think it looks hopeful. How hard do you think step 5 will be?” he asked.
“Why don’t you call Rob tomorrow? You can get pointers for step 5, and ask him if what we have done so far is correct.”
“Ok,” said John with a yawn. “I’m going to bed, goodnight.”
“Goodnight honey. I’m going to read a bit first.”
To be continued…
End of step #4, The negative complaining, used correctly…
will be liberating because your problems will be isolated, exposed, manageable!
How hard do YOU think step 5 will be?
To your perseverance,
Mister P
Categories: Inspiration | 
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7 Comments »
The more that you appear to have no need for the bank loan, the more they want to lend money to you!
So managing perceptions is important!
With the current low interests rate in the States, as long as they have secured jobs, would it be too hard to get a big enough loan?
Australia is the first major world economy to raise its interests arate this week. Apparently, teh first country to raise its interest rate since the Global Financial Crisis started was Israel.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion
Lisa and John are on their own, I have enough of my own problems to worry about! LOL I don’t know how hard #5 will be. I don’t know much about getting loans. I am pretty sure that even if you have a black mark on your credit that some companies will give you a loan but your interest rate is much higher.
Lisa McLellan
Child Care Expert,
Babysitting Services, Babysitting Tips, Babysitters, Nannies
If they were in the UK, there would be no hope of getting a loan with anything less than a 25% deposit and a clean credit record, and even then some banks would walk away. Although the banks have been bailed out by the government, they also must improve their capital to lending ratio, and as capital isn’t easy to come by the only thing they can do is reduce their loan book – even though the government are publicly “telling” the banks to that they should lend more.
Apologies – a rather heavy answer to an very entertaining blog.
http://www.martin-wright.com
They may want this home but people in hell want ice water too, and they aren’t getting it.
If they learn to live within their earnings, they might realize that it isn’t the stuff that will make them happy– it is the feeling of control they will have.
John and Lisa need to start a small home based business.
Simple Survival Tips For Disasters and Emergencies
I with Rob. I have little patience for people who want something, clearly cannot afford it, and persist (of course with guidance they CAN get out of this pattern easily and effortlessly).
Baaaack to the question: How hard will step five be? Now they have used effective complaining it will be easier to change these complaints into goals.
Keri Eagan
Anything Alternative
The key problem is that they don’t share the same values. In a marriage this is a killer. Maybe they should simply split the sheets and start over with someone they get along with.
Steve Chambers, Sale Trainer Speaker
I agree with Steve they don’t share the same values but I think they can work it out with they just focus on what it’s important
Jose Escalante
http://www.josescalante.com